he doesn’t want to see men kiss

or “ugly, fat” women kiss

only the heterosexuals and

pretty women kissing each other

are acceptable to watch…

what is this called?

and why did i raise hell?

 

i could be jealous that he gets turned on by other women in general

or other women in sexual acts together

 

i could just be taking notice of the fragile masculinity

that makes him ill at the sight of male lips

on male lips

 

I could be unpacking the fact that he’s comfortable

calling any woman “fat” or “ugly”

and reducing their display of affection to a show

to be judged by

his subjective voyeuristic eye.

(i guess i’d better not gain weight or lose my teeth….)

 

I could be disappointed that most straight men I know

would feel the same

so he’s not bad. just basic.

 

or maybe I’m just tired.

upset that that this is not the first red orange flag

somewhere between maleness and toxicity

that has made me question how every dating, straight woman

functions

in this paradigm

 

-wed and weeping