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 Lemons, and Love, and Never Leave

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In this scene Raz arrives to Pangea’s rented cottage-style house on a humid Spring afternoon that threatens horrible rain. His face threatens horrible news, but in Pangea’s cheerful stupor, she is just happy he’s come to visit. This is what happens when soulmates try to run from the soul.

“Hey Gia, I-I just came to give you your notebook back.”

Pangea, perplexed by how nervously he fidgeted from side to side and avoided eye contact, tried to regain the ease with which she had become accustomed to being around him. she smiled,

“I’ll take it only after you’ve finished the poem we started together. Did you write anything on it so far?” Instead of replying, he pulled the blue, leather bound composition out of his laptop case and sat it beside her on the porch. He frowned and looked away.

“Is everything alright? Here, come inside and have some lemonade.” She suggested getting up, but instead he sat beside her and placed a hand on her leg so she’d stay put. Looking deeply, though reluctantly into her eyes he swallowed and said,

“We can’t do this anymore.” the words were pinched and seemed to come out with great difficulty, but however hard it was to say could not match the weight with which that comment sunk into her gut. She turned her Jazz radio down and took a breath before she answered,

“You’re already seeing someone. That’s it, isn’t it?” this seemed to annoy him, but the expression passed quickly and she shook his head as though that was the stupidest thing she could have some up with.

“that’s not it at all. I just need you to understand that we are nothing. Okay?”

The soft strands of music were drenched in the weather of an evil Spring. Sirens of whooping winds began swelled all around them as tiny raindrops began to break against the asphalt like shards of glass falling from chandeliers of the sky. Heaven’s cathedrals were falling. It was so warm, but so gray. Pangea needed him to take back his last statement, and never ever say it again. She couldn’t handle it. She needed him to tell her it was just a joke so she laughed,

“Raz. Raz, come on. We just met a couple of weeks ago and this is really going well. We’re just friends, I don’t want to lose that.”

“that’s just it. we aren’t just friends. We are two weeks in to being not just friends and it’s moving too fast. I don’t want to hurt you…”

“then don’t.” she said sharply her eyes pleading with his silence, “Please.” He stood to leave and she was on his heels. “wait, no!”

“What Gia?” he whipped around,  “You are a beautiful young woman okay? So young you’ve got God and the whole universe ahead of you. go get it. Don’t follow me.”

As if she couldn’t hear him she stepped forward and squeezed his body to hers. He stiffened,

“Dammit Gia.” She growled under his breath. Pangea knew that for whatever, reason he was trying to push her away. It seemed against his will, nonetheless something he’d decided on firmly. So No crying….no tears.  This stranger, whose presence was only few months old in her life. It made no sense the distance her heart fell into the earth. He buried her alive with just one ambiguous comment but hell if she was going to make this messy.

Soon he pulled away. Raz watched her for a moment before all at once his fingers curled deep into her sides and brought his mouth hard to hers. long and languid, they kissed picking up where they left off that other day at the pier, and the day before that in the studio, and the day before that after the show. She bit down gently, holding his bottom lip and all its memories there. Pulling away, Wet faced and exhausted she whispered,

“so that means nothing?”

“I love you, I’m just not going to put myself in a position to hurt you.”

“the only thing that hurts is saying no.”

“okay,” he smirked, “then I’m saying yes. Yes to you coming with me to concerts, no to you coming home with me afterward. Yes to dancing at the club with our friends…no to feeding you strawberries while we study ancient languages.”

“but that was fun!” she chuckled, trying to let his new light hearted demeanor take away the ache of this gentle breakup. “yes to more kisses?”

“No. yes to bear hugs. No to sitting around in our underwear talking about philosophy. Yes to writing about sex. No to having it.”

Pangea, still virginal, but eager to explore that part of herself with the right person, this person, sighed deeply and went back to the porch to get her notebook.

“then, I ask again. Please do not return this until that poem is dripping with desire and body heat. Deal?”

He nodded, “deal.”

Raz didn’t retreat as quickly as he’d planned to. Like a reflex he followed her into her house for that lemonade. And stayed for another glass claiming it had been the best damned lemonade he’d ever tasted. They watched something on television, but would not be able to tell you what it was as they were throwing grapes at eachothers mouths from across the couch and keeping score next to The Poem in that blue notebook. Raz was about to win until the last grape he threw into Pangea’s mouth tried to go into her wind pipe. He was upon her and trying to fish it out of her mouth when she bit his finger and he realized she was pretending.

This led to a tickle fight…that led to a wrestling match…that degenerated into Raz kissing every part of her body he could get to while she still had on her tank top and shorts.

“no, keep them on, Gia. This is fine. This is good.”

“I want you to have access to everything. And don’t ever leave me. And kiss me like this all the time…and do whatever you want to me” she whispered in a cacophony of longing trying to make its way out of her mouth.

“shhhh.” He kissed her lips, and nodded, “I get it.”


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