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Where Are Your Coins, Sis?

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I’m a hotMESS! Apparently most millenials with ambition and passion are. We want to do everything now and ANYthing that will get us out of sentencing ourselves to a sedentary nine to five lifestyle with rewards only extending to a bit of stability, insurance, and a doggie treat of a mid-wage pay check every two weeks. Meanwhile all of of those “non-practical” dreams that once swam fertile in our 17 yr old minds miss the egg and no seeds for self-success are implanted for the birth of happiness! I want to give birth dammit!

There was a professional speaker’s conference in ATL that I attended with colleagues and my mentor last weekend. When I tell you that it was a life changing, soul shaking, holy- mother-of-God experience for me…I’d only being exaggerating a tiny bit. I believe that anyone who does anything artistic, liberal arts, or people-driven should attend shows/meetings to network, and get their inspiration fed so to keep their momentum consistent. This is so true for me, that going to that conference showed me how dead my ambition had fallen as a result of a lack in self care!

You want to know why people who are successful AF are so anal about when/how often they eat,  getting up early to exercise, meditation rituals, removing themselves from stress  at home, immediately solving conflict,and putting it away? Success is so connected to self-care that you could be a Beyonce’ and not progress in life since you were too depressed to perform more than twice in a year. Instead you ate cheese sandwiches and wore out your best friend by talking about the same sh*t you’ve been going thru for the past two years with Rodney. Ugh…you coulda been BEYONCE’!

All this to say, though getting fed at the conference lit a fire under my career-driven bones, it made me feel like such a wannabe. I want to be a writer with a professorship at an accredited school, and a professional speaker who actually gets booked for things other than come-do-this-for-free stuff. I’ve got one book publication under my belt, but 7 more agent-ed ones would be great!  I met people that showed me just how much time I’ve wasted in the last year. People are working so hard! Though I might be doing the same thing theoretically and planning-wise…I’m not hustling so it’s not making a difference.

My mentor said that I’m basically a fire hose hooked up to a hydrant, but not being aimed towards the fire! I’m flailing all over the place with these ideas, passion, aspirations, but no focus. People with focus can’t be undone by one year of hardship. Ergo, polishing your focus protects you from letting your hardship come between you and your success.

Further introspection has led to revelation!5b77ccc8b277f46c13f6612549c171d4

Signs You Might Be a Wannabe:

-You’ve got as much energy as an electrocuted Grimlin, but when it comes down to life outside your dream bubble, you’re moving slower than you should be,  or not at all.

-You’re fearful. Whether it’s fear of rejection, failure, success itself, or something related to those; it’s too overwhelming. You are stunned. Paralyzed.

-You aren’t honest with yourself. You might delude yourself into thinking you are doing all you can to succeed when you’ve yet to even start putting yourself out there.

-You’re constantly disappointed in yourself. People around you think you are going somewhere, and encourage you by bragging on the things you’ve already accomplished, but you don’t feel that way. You think you should be further. You’ll do anything to learn how to get further…except step too far out your comfort zone.

-You get jealous of people that made it. You might Facebook stalk them at your 9-5 trying to live vicariously through their posts. It’s like, you know you could do that too! Why are they leading a summit in NY city and you’re stuck behind a desk somewhere in Ohio?

-You’re happiness is transient. It’s based of circumstances. If you are at a low point you react emotionally instead of with action to get you to your next high point.

Guess what happens to wannabes.

If you stay in that state for too long you will end up paying thousands of dollars to someone who “made it” to teach you how to make it. This might sound outlandish but listen!

Instead of embracing the process,  consistency might not be your strong point. So someone comes along and throws you a proposition. They say “Pay me and I will teach you how to get to the next level!” There’s nothing wrong with investing in a coach of sorts to help you out, but consider this, millenials like you and I don’t want to wait. The time to act is now. If we think we are working, yet the evidence of that work is not showing up, NOW it’s a problem.

All of a sudden, that proposition is so TANTALIZING, it’s you’re only way out of Ohio, it’s your ticket to your dream. Why walk to your dream when this person can get you on a flight to destiny!? People like us spend so much money on  “investment” in our future and not enough time f***king up, and moving on our own. I’m all for setting aside some coin from profitable moves you make on your own, and using it to invest in some next-level help, but this going from a broke wannabe straight to taking out a loan to pay some expert a stack to direct you has got to stop! Sis, are you caught up on bills? You eatin?

What makes you think you’ll take their advice if you can’t take you’re own? A good rule of thumb is to pause. If there is someone that you want to mentor you, and they have a price, sit on it and figure out what you’re own goals are before you snuggle under their wing. This way you have some idea of what a successful session with them looks like for you. Does it mean you’re out in the open ocean swimming like a mermaid and not dying? Or does it mean you can finally just put your head underwater for a few seconds without panic? Otherwise it looks like just another day after watching a motivational YouTube video and just carrying on with life afterward.

Without work and hustle with self, there is no reason for you to pay to talk to a coach. 

Wannabes don’t get paid. They pay perpetually.








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